Kristin Chenoweth takes on a larger-than-life role in ‘The Queen of Versailles’ on Broadway

‘Versailles’ at home onstage

Saturday brassy stage musical “The Queen of Versailles” opened at the St. James. Kristin Chenoweth and F. Murray Abraham star. Nobody’s better.

Story: An over-everything ordinary blond, itchy to make Dolly Parton look shabby, wanted the largest $100M home in the US. The husband built her a Versailles, only in Orlando alongside snakes and alligators. However, their high-level lifestyle went bust — as did her dreams, closets, lifestyle, house — just not the B’way show.

So how long’s a flossy glossy musical take to overtake Broadway? It’s now 2025. In 2012 I saw its first incarnation. It became then a 100-minute doc about these Siegels whom nobody knew, or cared, but who built this 90,000-square-foot thing. Que pasa? They ran poor. Down to their last — pardon the expression — screw. Then Magnolia Pictures immortalized it.

Jackie Siegel was once Mrs. Florida. Hair — blond, Blond, BLOND. Neckline — low, Low, LOW. Dress — tight, Tight, TIGHT. Boobs — large, Large, LARGE. Stomach and behind protruding. At a luncheonette she requested caviar. OK? We’re talking “to the manner born.” I reported she said: “My husband might sell this for $100 million — but I’d come with it.” I murmured that was a realty ploy to knock down the price. She stared at me.

P.S. This 90,000-square-foot hut is still not finished. They’re probably waiting for a vacuum cleaner.

Tux luck for Sutherland

Yesterday’s story about the late Donald Sutherland’s delayed memoir reminded me of 1994. A dais. We sat together honoring Canada’s Ambassador Ken Taylor who’d saved American hostages from getting killed in Iran’s uprising which ousted the Shah and saved our embassy personnel until they could be rescued. Ben Affleck’s film “Argo” immortalized the experience. I was honored because I’d been rescued from Tehran. Sutherland was on the dais because he and Taylor knew one another from Canadian schools. Sutherland in a panic. It was black tie. “My butler packed the wrong jacket. Doesn’t match the trousers,” he lamented. The historic evening celebrated escaping death while Sutherland obsessed over his jacket.

Food for thought

As Biden sits in his basement spooning oatmeal off his chest and that caretaker wife scrapes off his ties, let us all search for good material about our electees. Tough to get good material nowadays. Why? Because the good jokes are already in Albany. I have to go now. I’m having dinner with Margo and John Catsimatidis who own 77 WABC. This is how hard workers such as myself get paid. It’s dinners at the station. From opinions I may have heard, the food might even be better than whatever’s been given to the terrific Kristin Chenoweth and F. Murray Abraham — could even beat the popcorn.

So, one Queens shoe store put in a new order. A week later the manager received a letter saying, “We can’t fill your order until full payment is made on your last shipment.” The store manager wrote back: “Cancel the new order. We can’t wait that long.”

And that’s Only in New York kids, Only in New York.