Parents Upset When Adult Child Skips Last-Minute Family Dinner Plans

A poster turned to the Reddit community for advice following a tense disagreement with their parents over a last-minute family gathering.

The user explained in their post that their family had planned a casual dinner at an aunt’s house, but notified them shortly before the event, saying the plans came with little warning.

According to the poster, they had already committed to a night out with friends and said, “We’d been planning this outing for weeks.” They added that this was one of the rare times everyone in their friend group was free, making the commitment especially important to them.

When they told their parents they didn’t want to cancel pre-existing plans, the conversation grew heated. The user recalled their parents being upset and insisting that “family comes first, no excuses,” a reaction that left the poster feeling misunderstood.

The poster said their parents accused them of choosing to “run around with friends” instead of spending time with relatives they “barely see,” but they explained that this lack of connection was part of the issue. “Every time I go to these gatherings, I end up sitting in a corner being asked awkward questions,” they wrote.

Those questions, they said, often centered on their studies, future or personal life. The poster shared that such interactions made the gatherings uncomfortable, and the sudden invitation didn’t give them enough mental space to prepare for another night of scrutiny.

As the disagreement escalated, the user made their decision clear and reiterated that the outing with their friends had been set long before the dinner was mentioned.

But that choice didn’t go over well at home. The poster wrote that their parents told them they were being “selfish and childish.”

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The user ultimately went out with friends as planned. They shared that the evening with their friends went fine, but the fallout at home was immediate when they returned later that night.

“My parents were cold to me when I got home and told me I embarrassed them by not showing up,” they wrote. OP said this reaction made them question whether choosing their friends over a last-minute family request was truly wrong.

In the comments, many Redditors voiced support, with one writing, “NTA, you already had plans way before they mentioned it.”

Another added, “Sounds like you wouldn’t want to go even if you didn’t have plans…”