Teen Applied to 14 Colleges, Mom Doesn’t Know How to Tell Her She Won’t Get In

A mom isn’t sure how to approach a tough conversation with her daughter about college.

The original poster (OP) shared her story on Reddit and explained that her only daughter is a senior in high school and has recently been going through the process of applying to college. She said a year ago, her daughter was going to apply early admission and had a plan to be super organized with her essays and letters of recommendation.

However, OP said they’re now approaching the December 1 deadline for early admission, and they’ve strayed off track. She also said her daughter is retaking the ACT because she’s hoping for a better score and the ability to submit a “super score” to schools that will accept it.

OP explained that her daughter has taken AP courses in high school, has a 3.6 GPA and hasn’t done any community outreach. She said she’s only been involved in one extracurricular program, despite her and her husband encouraging her to try more things.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.  

Her daughter wants to apply to 14 schools, and each application costs $75. OP said it’s not about the money for her, but she’s concerned that her daughter won’t get into the colleges she wants to get into.

“It’s not even about the money at this point, but is there a point where you burst the bubble by saying something about the likelihood of acceptance into a school for pre-med?” OP asked. “With a 20 on your ACT, and not the best testing scores through your school years?”

OP said she’s not trying to be harsh but doesn’t know how to handle the situation. She asks the community for guidance.

In her comments, one person wrote that they are going through the same experience with their daughter and have been trying a specific approach.

“I’m going through this now. It’s not necessarily about the number, but the type. She should apply to at least 3 safety schools, 3-5 target and then a few reach,” said the commenter. “Even if she had high scores and GPA, she should still apply to some safety schools.”

“My daughter applied to 8 early action and then she has a handful that she would apply in Jan if she doesn’t get into schools she likes,” they continued. “14 isn’t outrageous unless she’s applying to all reach schools.”

Another person wrote that if money really doesn’t matter, then why does OP care so much about how many schools their daughter is applying to?

“Is it really not about the money? Then let her apply to all of them,” they said. “If it is about the money, then set limits. Ask her to pay $25 towards each application. Or each application above three. Your kid has high hopes. They’re likely to be crushed. Why do you want to be the one to do it?”

A third said that OP should let her daughter apply to the schools she wants, but make sure that her daughter is applying to at least a few safety schools.

“Tell her to pick two safety schools that she wouldn’t mind attending that admit people with her gpa and scores. You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take and I’d encourage her to shoot high but plan for reality as well,” they said.