Man Says He Doesn’t Need to Buy Girlfriend Christmas Gifts Since He’s Proposing

A man believes that proposing overrules the need to get his girlfriend a Christmas gift.

A longtime friend of the man who is planning to pop the question over the holiday asked Reddit users in a post on the platform’s “Am I the A——” forum if they’re in the wrong for telling him the groom-to-be that proposing is not a “suitable” Christmas present for his girlfriend of four years.

In just a few weeks, the man intends to propose to his “very family-focused” girlfriend the morning of Christmas Day, surrounded by her entire family as they open presents together. While disclosing this surprise to his friend, the man “made a throwaway comment about the engagement saving him some time in relation to the rest of his Christmas shopping.”

“He said that since he was proposing, he hadn’t planned to get his partner anything else for Christmas,” the man’s friend wrote.

The Redditor tried to talk their friend out of this, arguing that “the two were not mutually exclusive.” However, he countered that the ring is “costing him more than several usual Christmas and birthday presents combined.” The friend knows, though, that the man is in financial position where “there is absolutely money to spare for a couple of gifts that he’d usually get his partner.”

Although the man’s girlfriend is “in no way materialistic,” the friend knows her well enough to know that she would “appreciate” a gift or two.

“I also pointed out that since he is hoping to surprise her with the proposal, that it would become quite obvious that something was afoot if there were no presents for her from him under the tree,” they added.

“Getting engaged is definitely a gift,” the soon-to-be fiancé argued.

After going “back and forth for a while,” the man told his friend that he will no longer share more about his future engagement until after the proposal due to their “differing views.”

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His friend asked Redditors if they’re being “a stubborn old fool” about this, to which most said they weren’t. The majority of commenters took the side of the man’s friend, saying that a proposal is not a gift but rather “a mutual celebration of love.”

“I think the idea that proposing is a gift from him to her, as opposed to a mutually joyful step forward for both of them, is a bit distasteful,” the top comment reads.

Another person agreed, writing, “That mindset is gross. It comes across like getting married is just for her benefit and he’s doing her some sort of big favor my offering to marry her.”