Woman Refuses to Pay Back Friend After Altering Borrowed Dress Without Permission

What began as an act of generosity soon evolved into a dispute over boundaries, etiquette and who should pay for the consequences.

One Reddit user recently shared how a trusted friend’s decision created a conflict neither of them anticipated, putting their friendship at risk.

“I (24F) have a friend (23F) who came to me a month ago asking to borrow a blue bridesmaid dress. I was a bridesmaid for a wedding with a blue theme not too long ago, so I lent her the dress I used,” she wrote in the post. “She WAS a really good friend so I didn’t really mind helping her out.”

After receiving the satin dress, the friend said thank you and then didn’t reach out again until the wedding had passed. When she finally returned it, the friend admitted she had the dress altered because she was “smaller” than the Reddit user and “liked it more snug.”

“I was shocked. Gagged. Confused. IDEK how to feel about it,” the poster wrote.

The issue wasn’t just the alteration itself – it was that the friend never asked for “permission.” The poster even questioned, “isn’t it common etiquette to return borrowed things in the same condition you received them?”

Although the friend apologized and offered to pay to have it readjusted, the damage had already been done. The dress had been taken in enough that the poster doubted it could ever fit the same again, noting that it was taken in “around the bust and waist area.”

When the friend suggested selling it, the poster asked her to buy it instead, since she had chosen to alter it without permission.

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The friend agreed, in theory, but changed her tune when told the price.

“She asked how much, and when I told her it was $90, she straight up told me it was too much. That she wasn’t willing to pay that much for a dress that has been used,” the user wrote. “I feel like it is a reasonable price as I bought it for almost $120. Also it is a cute dress that I intend on wearing again.”

So, the original owner turned to Reddit to ask if she was overreacting or if her request is “valid.”

Commenters sided with the original poster, emphasizing that the friend should have returned the dress as she borrowed it or at least pay to replace it.

“She was way out of line. No one would think that’s a reasonable thing to do without asking,” one user wrote. “She decided to go the beg forgiveness route and did something that can’t be undone.”

Another user offered some advice moving forward, writing, “My dad always said to never loan or borrow anything you can’t afford to lose, and that advice has saved me a lot of drama.”

A seamstress also chimed in, noting that, “ironically, the cost to restore the dress will probably be around $90,” if it is even doable.

“Being able to restore the dress to your size will depend on how the dress was altered to begin with. If the tailor was able to preserve the extra fabric, then it may just be a question of re-doing the seams. But if the excess was trimmed away after altering (common), then there’s not much hope without some creative solutions like inset panels or shortening the skirt and using the fabric from that,” they wrote.