Man Says He Wants to Skip Thanksgiving with His In-Laws, Wife Is Upset

A husband says he told his wife that he doesn’t want to go to her family’s house for Thanksgiving this year — and she’s not on board with the idea.

In a post on Reddit, the 34-year-old man said he recently told his wife about his lack of desire to attend the annual event, which he said is always a “huge thing.”

Every year, he said there’s more than 30 people “crammed into one house” with “everyone yelling over each other” — and they’re always having the same arguments.

“It’s honestly just exhausting,” he wrote.

As a full-time worker and student, the man said he is typically “running on fumes” by the time the annual holiday comes around. This year, he added, “I just wanted one peaceful day. No driving, no loud chaos, no politics.”

“I suggested that we just stay home, cook a smaller dinner together, and actually relax for once with the kids,” he explained in his post. 

However, his wife “immediately got upset” and accused him of “being selfish” because spending the day with her family is “tradition.” Her husband even suggested she could go without him, but she thought that would just be “weird.”

“They’re nice people, it’s just… a lot,” the Redditor remarked. “I just want a quiet day at home to breathe.”

Many people who replied to the post felt it was fair for the man to not go to the gathering. “30 is a lot of people and noise and if you’re running on empty it’s a lot,” one commenter wrote, though they noted they also understood the wife’s perspective.

“Thanksgiving is for extended family and she wants to celebrate with them,” the individual continued after suggesting the family consider starting their own traditions.

One person who commented on the post suggested the man’s wife should “learn to compromise,” while another said missing one holiday “shouldn’t be the end of the world.”

Some commenters even shared their honest experiences about skipping out on spending time with family during the holidays, including one person who said members of her family do the same.

“It’s not weird in my family, or my husband’s,” they wrote. “In both there are a few who always, or at least almost always, show up and a few who rarely make an appearance, and most of us fall somewhere in between.”

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“Tradition shouldn’t equal obligation,” another Redditor wrote. “Sometimes, you just need to enjoy your family time alone and that’s OK.”