Woman Is ‘Hurt’ After Sister Offers Her Personal Attendant Role, Not Bridesmaid

A woman is questioning whether or not she should accept her sister’s wedding role offer.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, the 21-year-old woman shared that she’s struggling with feeling left out after her sister, who is getting married, made her a “personal attendant” instead of a bridesmaid. She asked users if she was overreacting for being “upset” and if she would be in the wrong if she rejected the position.

“I feel like I would have been less hurt if she just didn’t ask me to be a part of her wedding at all,” the woman wrote. “I feel offended and hurt that she asked to do this.”

She also shared that the bride named a different sister her maid of honor, and her younger siblings junior bridesmaids and groomsmen.

“She informed me that I would not be in the bridal party and I would be the only one of my four siblings not included that way,” the Redditor said, adding, “She kept trying to explain that while I wasn’t a part of her bridal party she thought I would be better included in her wedding this way and that I would still be dressed up.”

The woman explained that her role would consist of running “errands the day of and basically be an unpaid day-of coordinator.” Because there is also an official day-of coordinator, “most, if not everything” will already be taken care of, leaving the bride’s sister with little to contribute on the day.

“She knows I have issues being organized and that I can’t even take care of myself some days, so I would have issues having to take care of her and the things she needs the day of her wedding,” the Redditor wrote.

She noted that she and her sister “get along just fine” and “very rarely get into arguments,” so she’s surprised she was excluded from the bridal party.

The woman has decided to take “a week or two to really think about this” before rejecting the role. In the meantime, she asked Redditors to weigh in on the situation.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Redditors suggested that the woman reject the role now, rather than later, if her mind is already made up, arguing that it would be worse to “delay” the decision. The majority of commenters understood why she doesn’t want to accept the “meaningless title,” saying “it’s flat out weird” that she wasn’t included in the wedding party like the rest of the bride’s siblings.

“Why on earth would she single you out with an oddball job and separate you from the others?” one person questioned. “You wouldn’t walk up the aisle or be at the bridal table? Downright mean in my opinion… I’m angry for you.”

Another person wrote, “It blows my mind the entitlement of some brides to invite someone to their wedding and call them personal attendants. They want a free servant. I honestly would think hard if I was going to even attend the wedding if someone told me this.”